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So, remember when I saw the Stones, err, had those kidney stones and the pain was so bad that I went to the emergency room at 4 in the morning even though I didn’t officially have any health insurance?

Yeah, um, I got the bill.

Anybody want to guess? You, in the corner with your hand up. What say you? $500? Ah, if only….

Try $4227.85.

Now, to their credit, the hospital did discount the bill by 30% on account if me not having any insurance and so that drops it down to a still eye opening $2959.50.  Whew. A hair under $3000! That was close. Ooops, wait a second. I just got a second bill from the Consultants in Radiology charging me $356.  I guess we are going over the big 3k after all.

I have already ordered an itemized bill but for now, let’s delve a little bit closer and see how the basic charges break down.

• $118 for the pharmacy.  - I gots no argument with that one. That drug they injected me with was glorious.  In fact, I would have paid double for a take home needle.
• $79 for the lab/urology.  - again, no big deal. It’s lab work. I can respect that. I hated my lab work in college. That’s why I got a C in geology.
• $3090 for the CT Scan. - Ding ding ding. There’s the culprit. I called the hospital billing department and when the lady answered, I said, “Hi, I apparently bought a CT Scanner and so I was wondering when I could come by and pick it up.”   Silence.   Maybe she had heard that joke before?  What justifies a charge of over $3000 for a scan! That doesn’t even include the “consultant” fee.  Are they still paying it off? Is my payment going to allow them to finally repaint it an eggshell white?
• $922 for the emergency room. - Wow, another one that is way too high. They didn’t even have cable in the room. Or a TV.  And I was only in there for less than 2 hours.
• $17.75 for drug/detail code. - I am guessing this is the charge to match up the right drug with the right code? What’s the code for awesome drug that made my pain go away so fast. You know what? I won’t quibble over this one either because I want those codes to match.

So there you go. I will be performing the best traffic reports of 2007 on the corner of  Stemmons and Inwood for the next 3 weekends and passing the hat afterwards to help pay for my delightful 2 hour stay at HEB’s priciest hotel with benefits.

DISCLAIMER: I actually have no complaints about the CARE and TREATMENT that I received. I found everyone very professional and my nurse was understanding and helpful.  I am just a little shell shocked by the bill. Fortunately, I am in a position to be able to file for COBRA benefits, unlike many Americans who don’t have that luxury.   If you have any inside knowledge on why these prices are so high feel free to comment or email me.

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