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I am not a coffee snob. But I’m well on my way!

Look what I bought two weeks ago. Ah, oui , oui, it is zee french press! If you’ve never heard of a “French Press” don’t worry, I had no idea how this contraption worked before a month ago. Quite a few years ago, I remember my much older brother-in-law saying that he had made coffee in a French Press and all I could imagine was some large contraption that had a pull handle and a flat plate where you put the raw coffee beans and “pressed” the coffee juice out. (I have issues with my brain). About 6 months ago, I saw a Good Eats featuring coffee and Alton said that the closest way to get to good “espresso” type coffee without using an espresso machine was through using a french press.

And finally, every time I watch the fantastic intro to Dexter, I see him using this infernal machine and I say to myself, “I gotta get one of those.” And I did. Finally.

So, here’s how it works.

1. You put 3 or 4 cups of water on stove in a small saucepan set on high
2. Grind the coffee beans for about 15 seconds. You don’t want to get them as fine as you would for your drip machine.
3. Depending on the size of your press, put the amount of scoops of coffee you want into the bottom of the french press container.
4. Just before the water boils, take it off the stove and carefully pour into the press container almost to the top. Allow about an inch and a half.
5. Stir the water and coffee grounds up for about 5 or 6 seconds.
6. Cover the press container with lid/strainer combo BUT do not strain yet.
7. Allow 4 minutes for mixture to “brew.”
8. Slowly push down strainer all the way to the bottom. (Just like Dexter does! See pic above)
9. Pour into your favorite cup and be prepared for one of the smoothest cups of coffee that you have ever tasted.
10. Drawback is that if you add really cold cream, the coffee will get too cool too fast.
11. Should it really take me 11 items of an ordered list to explain a French Press.
12. Probably not but I can’t stop now.
13. It sounds like a lot of trouble to go through for coffee, but it’s kind of fun and elitist all at the same time. “Look at me, you swine swilling drips! I am the master of the French Press. Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!”
14. Can’t end on 13. That would not be good.

Look, it’s me. Playing the red Elton John piano! Hmmm, it looks like I am trying to remember the notes to  Crocodile Rock. You know, even though I took lessons for 10 years, I never really learned  any Elton John songs. Billy Joel, Bruce Hornsby, almost everything Journey ever produced, but no Elton John.
I think I’ll work on that this weekend.  By the way, this piano can play by itself. How awesome would it be to have that in your living room!

Like this video? How about a t-shirt to remind your friends and family of how truly cutting edge and cool you really are?

If you’re interested, go here.