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Well, it was kidney stones. As in more than one. Earlier I wrote a post about a horrific pain that floored me last week and I wasn’t sure if it was my new office chair or the stones, man! Well, a long painful trip to the emergency room at 4 in the morning on Saturday confirmed some other people’s suspicions that it was indeed the male version of giving birth (in terms of pain). Ah, dammit, it’s more than one. In fact, I have two on the right side and two on the left. The two guys on the left are still in the kidney just chillin’. The two on the right are making their little incredible voyage down to my bladder and seriously, it’s like a dull knife has been jabbed into your right lower back and then somebody gives it a twist now and then. And you can’t just sit still cause that makes it worse. At least if you move, it takes your mind off the pain but you have to keep moving. I ended up cleaning my bathroom at 1 in the morning. The Tylenol Codeine wasn’t working for me and so I finally had to call my sainted mother to come drive me to the hospital. I really really didn’t want to go but I had to have something for the pain. Now here’s what really sucks. I just started a new job. That means no insurance for a month. I’m in limbo so to speak. Luckily, I can pay about $400 for COBRA to kick in and cover any medical issues but couldn’t I have just waited until July to have a stones attack? By the way, hats off to HEB Medical Center in Bedford. Everybody was very nice. They took care of me fairly quickly and I’m not sure what drug they gave me to kill the pain but it was AWESOME. I’ve seen so many episodes of Scrubs, I kept expecting JD to show up and daydream. But he didn’t. Speaking of Scrubs, somebody let Sarah Chalke know that I am available. Wow. Anyway, I got a prescription for Vicodin (look out Sweet Greggo) and instructions to drink lots of water and and use a strainer. You know, a strainer when I go so they can see what the composition of the stone is. The only strainer I have is for spaghetti and I was planning on making Italian food this week. Besides those holes are awfully big.

UPDATE: I have had two “pain episodes” since Saturday and so I’ve cleaned the kitchen and folded all the laundry. If have one more, I plan on vacuuming the entire house.